Do you know what a person shouldn’t do while they’re trying to lose those couple or ten pounds gained over the holidays? Now just you shut up about how it’s February and that’s a full month since the holidays and a full month is plenty of time two lose a couple or ten pounds. You shut up about that and I’ll shut up about how maybe only 5 of the pounds were from the holidays and the other 5 came after. We’ll both shut up and there will be no need for fisticuffs, m’kay? M’KAY.
What was I doing? Oh, right. The exact opposite thing I should have been doing, which is Googling “ugly bread”. Because when you Google “ugly bread”, you do not get pictures of ugly looking bread. Google failed me there. Instead, you get pictures of delicious looking bread that I want to put in my face. Bread filled with chocolate chips and smothered in icing and dusted with powdered sugar and smeared with cinnamon and oh my. There’s nothing ugly about any of that.
I was Googling “ugly bread” because I want to win a sock zombie. I’m not sure what ugly bread and sock zombies have in common, other than Hella Chella likes both of them. And, to be perfectly honest, after Googling “ugly bread”, I am now also a big fan of both unattractive pastries and adorably crafted undead hookers.
The requirement for me to be entered into the contest to win Rhoda is to do a blog post about “ugly bread”. I was supposed to BAKE “ugly bread”, preferably, but I could also post a Photoshopped picture of regular bread made to look like “ugly bread”, or I could just slap up a picture of normal, un-ugly bread and she’d give me a pity entry.
And of course, that’s what I’ve done.