A complaint, some gold, a rant

I’m that sort of tired where your eyes burn and the skin and muscles and blood in the area surrounding your eyes also burns and you feel like if you don’t go to sleep RIGHT NOW your eyes just might burst into unholy flames then and there and that might just be a sweet relief because surely you’d pass out from the pain and any sort of unconscious is sleep enough.

But it’s not from lack of trying because I’m going to bed at a reasonable hour and waking at my usual alarm-driven hour. My nights have been fitful and restless, which is part of the trouble, but it is the days that have run me down. Work has been busy. I don’t talk about work here because I like being employed, but if I remain vague enough, I think I could safely say that I am exhausted and it is because work has been busy, for a variety of reasons.

An increase in assigned duties, an inflated work load, coworkers on vacation, an office arrangement in a state of flux. I come home ready to cry and I wake up having to cheerlead myself into getting ready for the day; not because I don’t like my work because I can honestly say that I do enjoy what I do. There is just SO MUCH of it right now and it’s overwhelming and mentally draining and I’m nearing the end of my Keeping My Shit Together rope. Mine is one of those glory-free jobs that is difficult to get people to understand just how busy and exhausted I could possibly be, even those I work with.

Eirinn once said she wants to do my job when she grows up so that she can sit in a chair and do nothing all day. I laughed a little, but was bawling my eyes out on the inside. Not because a six year old doesn’t understand the work I do, but because I worry that sometimes that’s what everyone else may think as well.

I’m tired, is the moral of this sad, overly dramatic tale. More tired than I have ever been. I’ve worked two jobs, sometimes working 12-14 hours a day, two weeks straight or more. I’ve raised two children who came into this world as fussy infants hellbent on never sleeping. I’ve done these things and I have never been even close to as exhausted as I am right now.

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Aaaaanyway… I wanted to post this song because I like it and it’s been all earwormy and THEN I read the comments on YouTube and there was a HIPSTER WAR and my day was brightened and made shiny once again. A HIPSTER FEUD, people. Hipsters are hilariously SERIOUS and I love them.

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