Learning To Blend

I know it’s hard to believe, given the abundance of charm I spew all of this place, but I’m sort of a forgettable person. Now, now, I’m not saying this to illicit sympathy or disbelief, I just am. It comes from years of Blending Into The Wallpaper training and not saying any words outloud with my mouth. I don’t go out, when I do, I don’t say much, I don’t eat lunch in the breakroom, I don’t attend after-work social functions like staff appreciation days or Christmas parties, I don’t play sports or belong to any clubs or groups, and I don’t really keep in touch with anyone. I’ve made myself forgettable. That was sort of the end-goal and hurrah! I’ve succeeded!

Example 1:

“Your face looks so familiar.”

“I’ve worked with you for nine years.”

The ghost of front bottom left incisor

Oh, little tooth. You were the first one up and so you are the first one out. You will be missed. I’m sure your adult counterpart will be a worthy substitution, but your vacancy will be ever-present in our hearts and our minds forever. Rest in peace, wherever you may lay.

I think she finally got sick of me asking if I could wiggle her tooth for her, so she just pulled it out herself. She says it just popped out, literally hurling itself from her mouth into her hand several inches below while she was in another room, but I think she just yanked it out to get it over with.